Top 5 things my hubby does that annoy the shit out of me:
1. He does not listen
I have to say most things at least twice. I often ask if he even heard my comment because of his lack of acknowledgement. And when he did listen to me he usually tries to give me advice or tell me how to fix something.
2. He does not clean up after himself
I do the dishes 99.5% of the time. His clothes hit the floor right outside the clothes hamper. He does not clean the sink after he shaves and I am the only one who carries his shoes upstairs when they are piling up next to his recliner.
3. He talks without thinking
No matter who is around, if it might be considered rude, inappropriate or just straight not “okay” he just says whatever pops in his head. “I wasn’t thinking” is often the later explanation. Which leads me to my next annoyance….
4. He says “I’m Sorry” about the same things
He seems to say “I’m Sorry” for the same things now as he did 12 years ago. Yes, this might be assumed by someone who often says whatever is on his mind, but in marriage apologizing about the same things again and again gets old.
5. He tires to hump my leg every second he can
Oh my geeze this man! Do I need to say more? (sorry Mom, if you are reading)
Truth is I asked my hubby for help with what I should write about for my next post since I was having writers block (it’s actually more like writers overload since I have so much to say). He often thinks he is “annoying the shit out of me” hence why the top five got the vote. Truth is, yes he annoys me sometimes, but without him my life would not be what it is today.
This month we will celebrate 12 years. Our marriage was a surprise to even our closest friends, nobody would have put us together. Our marriage has not been perfect, whose is. Our marriage takes work, whose doesn’t?
My hubby was lucky enough to marry a therapist, yes he knew what he was getting into as I graduated with my Masters Degree six months before our wedding. What he did not know then was my career would lead me to specialize in couples therapy. In hind-sight I am glad we said our vows before this adventure began or he might have decided otherwise about me.
Being married to a couples therapist can’t be easy. I have been told many times to not talk to him like he is one of my clients and many times I have been told not to assume I know what he is saying. Truth is, I talk to him like I talk to everyone and truth is I usually do know what he is saying (I do listen for a living!). Being married to a couples therapist means I experiment on us sometimes, even dragging him to couples retreats, and we too sit on the couch at times. But I have also learned and been often reminded that he is my hubby, not my client.
All of this to say: I am real, my hubby is real, my marriage is real. And by real I mean we have been through the fire and I do not doubt the flames will rise again. Marriage is not easy and it takes A LOT of work. We struggled after having 2 kids in 1 year. The adjustment from being “single,” what we refer to as life before kids, to life now was an easy 5 year recovery process. We are still in recovery. We now know and use many of the Gottman principles to keep our marriage a key focus amidst all the busy schedules, the outside stressors and chaos of life.
What do I mean The Gottman principles?
I have spent the last 3 years immersing myself in all the Gottman Couple Therapy training and education I can get. I am a few steps away from being a Gottman Certified Therapist so I am as excited to share my Got Gottman series with you here as I am to use his methods in my office with the couples on my couch. As my marriage has benefitted from it, I know your marriage will too.
One of the things I talk about the most with new couples on the couch are the 3 A’s.
How do you give notice to the 3 A’s on a daily basis?
I will talk more about this in my 1st Got Gottman post so check back next Wednesday.
To wrap this up for today I will share 5 things I appreciate about my hubby:
- I appreciate he puts up with all my annoying habits
- I appreciate his willingness to walk through the fires of marriage with me
- I appreciate how hard he works for our family
- I appreciate his willingness to sit on the couch with and for me
- I appreciate him for being exactly who he is.