Friendships have been on my mind a lot lately....
Probably because last weekend we said goodbye to a beloved member of our mom tribe. She is moving to Houston and taking her cute hats, her humor, and piece of all of our hearts with her.
The “big girl panties part of me” knows that we are not really saying goodbye, but rather, see you soon. The “pull-up” part of my heart says, knowing that doesn’t make it any less painful.
Saying goodbye to friends is not exactly new territory but it did get
me thinking about my mom’s take on friendship. She shared her wisdom with me a few years ago, when I was mourning the loss of another friendship.
“In life, there are there are both road friends and heart friends. In your lifetime, will have many road friends, but you’ll be lucky to have even a handful of heart friends…those are the important ones.”
. “How will I know the difference?” I asked.
“If I throw my whole heart into most of my friendships (which I do), aren’t they all heart friends?”
“Road friends,”she said, “are the ones you’ll meet along your journey through middle school, motherhood and midlife. They will make life a little less lonely for a time. They will share memories and mimosas, midlife madness, and more. You’ll find yourself drawn to them because you’ll share something in common; kids, summer camps, careers, and kindness. They will love you dearly and you them; for a time. They will fulfill their purpose in your life and you in theirs.”
“There may or may not be a dramatic ending, no break up or blow up. Just as you looked up one day and they were there, you may look up one day and they’ll be gone.”
It’s being ok with the later that I’m struggling with lately.
And heart friends? “Well, it will take years sometimes before you know which ones those will be. They will be the ones who will come into your life and never leave. You may not see them for months at a time, not talk to them as often as you would like, and then one day you’ll need them and they will be there. They will call you to check on you, be there in a crisis, and invest their time and energy in loving your kids as though they are their own. The two of you will pick up right where you left off and then you’ll understand that this one was meant to stay. It took me 43 years to finally start recognizing the difference between the two….
Pay attention to those who reach out to you, not just when they are in need, but when you are. They will make an effort to be a part of your life; not matter how busy they may be in their own.
Heart friends are sometimes miles away, but often closest in your heart. So here’s to road friends and heart friends & to the wisdom & insight to know the difference. Thanks to both for making the journey more fun.