Silence is not golden…I repeat….Silence is not golden!!!
One of the best pieces of advice I ever got came from an old friend of mine. It came during a difficult time in my marriage, and was in response to the question: Do I continue in a relationship where my needs are not being met and my words fall on deaf ears time & time again? It proved helpful and has guided me in relationships ever since.
“In any relationship (professional or personal), you must tell the other person what you need, want, expect, and deserve. If they rise to meet those expectations and make an effort to give you what you need, then you’ll have your answer.
So..I did just that.
It saved my marriage.
In my work with couples and families, people often say to me…”I bet nothing surprises you anymore”. Actually, what surprises me most about humans is how little they communicate.
I’m talking NO COMMUNICATION…At all…Nothing…Zero…Nada!
Listen up people….life is messy. Relationships are messy. Humans are a lot of things, but they are NOT MIND READERS! You may be waiting for the right words or the right time to have a difficult conversation. Guess what? There is no right time, and you may never have the right words Stop waiting and start talking.
Do not expect others to give you what you need, want and/or expect, if you are not willing to tell them what that is! If they make an effort to give you what you need/want and expect, they are keepers. If they don’t, won’t or can’t, at least you can walk away knowing you did everything within your power to salvage the …(marriage, friendship, business partnership), etc…You get the idea…now get to talking.