You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than a year in conversation.
I often recommend play therapy to parents whose young children are struggling emotionally and behaviorally. As you can probably imagine, this recommendation is often met with a blank stare. Reluctant and a bit skeptical, parents often underestimate the power of using play in the therapy process.
Play therapy is for children, what talk therapy is for adults & play therapy happens to be one of the most effective ways of helping children navigate the complicated and often emotionally trying process of growing up. Play therapy is a structured, theoretically based approach to therapy that builds on the normal communicative and learning processes of children. Play is a child’s language, and it is through therapeutic play that children learn to:
- Assume greater self-responsibility
- Become more self-directed
- Become more self-accepting
- Become more self-reliant
- Engage in self-determined decision making
- Experience a feeling of control over his/her environment, thus reducing generalized anxiety
- Become sensitive to the process of coping
- Develop an internal source of evaluation
- Become more trusting of self.
Play therapy is best suited for children ages 3-12, however, in recent years, play therapy has been used with toddlers as well. The toys in the play therapy room are specifically selected to allow a child to explore social roles, such as nurturing baby dolls or dress up like a police officer. Therapists are trained to notice patterns & themes in a child’s play as a way of helping the child resolve internal struggles & move towards healing.
Therapy sessions vary in length, but generally last between 30-45 minutes. Research suggests that it takes an average of 20 sessions to resolve the problems of the typical child referred for treatment. Of course, some children may improve much faster while more serious or ongoing problems may take longer to resolve.
If you think your child could benefit from play therapy or have any further questions about this powerful treatment modality, don’t hesitate to contact me at Family Connections Counseling (817-545-7100) or find out more information at the Association for Play Therapy (www.A4PT.org).
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”-George Bernard Shaw
thank you for allowing me to hold space for you
As a client and I were recently working on wrapping up her course of therapy she mentioned the well known words of Nanny McPhee about her time in therapy. “When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me, but no longer need me, then I have to go.” As her therapist sitting on the chair across from the couch, the words were very touching and very true. These words have stuck with me. Leaving me with a sense of pride that I was able to be the one to hold space for her, while she did the work she was so resistant and fearful of.
A New Approach to Wellness & Weight Loss
New Year…New You? …Not so Fast!
If you are like millions of Americans, the past few weeks have been a mix of recovering from the merriment/madness of the holidays & contemplating change.
We all know the drill, January 1st rolls around & gets us thinking about what is and is not working in our lives. If only for a few days, making a commitment towards positive change seems like an obtainable goal.
For many, this positive change involves losing weight. Every January 1st, I leap onto the weight loss band wagon, only to be derailed at the first sight of cheese & wine.
So why is it so difficult to develop & maintain healthier habits?
By now, the “how’ is no mystery. I’m no rocket scientist and I really really hate math, but I understand that my calories out have to be less than calories in. Nevertheless, study after study indicates that while many succeed in in losing some weight, the long term results are usually poor. Why is it so hard then to stick to a healthy eating plan and a reasonable exercise regime? I’m a mom, so I could give you a thousand reasons…stress, time, lack of planning, picky children, wine. If you are R.E.A.L. Tired Housewife, the reasons truly are endless.
So this year, I am taking a different approach to better health. It’s one that I actually know quite well but have never thought to apply to the areas of weight and wellness. (Talk about a light bulb moment!) It’s no secret that I constantly sing the praises of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I am so passionate about this approach to maintaining one’s mental health, that I use it as my primary strategy when working with clients of all ages.
So it stands to reason that if faulty thinking patterns contribute a host of mental health problems, it might also be the reason they remain unable to finally achieve the healthy lifestyle they so desperately aspire to.
I would suspect that it is because knowing what to do & knowing how to get yourself to do it are entirely separate skills. Getting ourselves to create new habits depends largely on the silent conversation we have with ourselves: our thoughts.
Since I would never ask a client to do something I would not be willing to do myself, the ideas that come next are going to be tested first and foremost on me. I’ll agree to be my own guinea pig.
Let me state for the record that I am not focusing on losing weight. I have wasted way too much of my precious life focusing on a number on a scale. No longer a slave to the scale, what matters to me most is how I feel on a daily basis. So the goal is: be a little less tired real housewife.
I’ll first work to identify destructive thoughts keeping me from achieving my wellness goals. Once those are identified, I will develop strategies to actively challenge and change those thoughts into more helpful ones. I ask clients to do this all of the time and I am their accountability coach. You then, friends & readers, will be my accountability guide.
So what does this actually look like in real Mom Life? I’ll create cards on a ring to record new, more helpful thoughts & keep these cards in a prominent place..i.e. kitchen, car, office, or any place where I tend to lose focus and motivation. If you have children, (that’s basically everywhere and anywhere). Think of it almost as a portable vision board of words!
Here are a few examples of thoughts I plan to tackle:
- Old: I have tried eating healthier before and always fall back into my old patterns.
NEW: Changing my thoughts has led to great gains in mental health for me and this time I’m applying those techniques to wellness.
- Old: My family is full of picky eaters and they won’t be supportive of this new way of eating.
NEW: My family has supported my goals in the past and will be inspired when I succeed.
- I will have to be much less social if I change my eating & drinking patterns, and being with friends is a huge part of my life that I am not willing to give up.
NEW: I can & will still go out with friends, but I can plan what I will eat/drink in advance & not waiver from that. I will surround myself with people who have like-minded goals and bring out the best in me by supporting my positive changes.


As I say often, the goal is progress, not perfection. I know I won’t be perfect on this journey to wellness, but I promise to keep you posted on my progress and cheer you on if you too decide to make 2018 a year of change.
Personal Reflections from 2017: Twelve Months and 12 Lessons Learned.

January: Accepting Mommy Imperfection (the beginning)
February: Forgiveness
March: Starting Again
April: Happy Mind Happy Home is Born
May: Divorce and Dating
June: Trust and Marriage
July: Growing Older
August: Babies, Kindergarten, and More
September: School Days
October: Busy Gets Busier
November: A Thanksgiving to Remember
December: I’ll Bring the Chips.
Controlling the Christmas Chaos
I’m not sure if my Christmas anxiety is giving my everyday anxiety anxiety but I know for sure the Christmas chaos is here!
I know I am stressed when I find myself staring at my planner and making lists of lists. I get excited when I get to move into my new planner for the upcoming year so when I noticed my 2018 planner has this month in it I quickly did the switch. I also started laying out my bullet journal for 2018, which of course meant I needed a marker upgrade.
All the planning in the world does not stop the Christmas Chaos from trying to steal your Christmas Cheer. So with Christmas Chaos swirling in the air I am reminding myself of ways to stay sane (aside from making lists of lists).
I am Keeping it Simple.
Yes, after convincing hubby to help me get the 10+ Christmas trees and 10+ boxes of decorations out of the attic I found myself staring at it. I was overwhelmed. I didn’t want to win the “I have the most Christmas trees in my house” award this year. For the first time in over 10 years we are NOT hosting Christmas so even more reason to keep it simple. I decided to not even put up the “BIG” tree. Settling for a pencil tree in our living room, stockings hung on the mantle and our annual pictures with the Big Guy out to see.
After a slight panic when hubby questioned if I had “underdone it” I have concluded the keep it simple theory helps my sanity this year.
I am not subscribing to all the holiday “you have toos”
I do not have to come up with the “perfect” teacher gift, I know a gift card is many times preferred. I do not have to find the pajamas for my Chihuahua that matches my boy’s Christmas morning. Disguising my Baileys as cream is my only goal on Christmas morning. And I don’t need my Christmas lights dancing to the music, I will settle for the Grinch trying to steal my lights.
I am not over committing
With all the Sign Up Geniuses landing in my inbox the last couple weeks I have taken a step back to ask myself what I really want to commit to and what I just don’t have time to do. Sure, I will buy skittles and marshmallows for the holiday party, but I am not baking 3 dozen homemade cookies for the teacher cookie exchange. Sorry, I cannot sell yo-yos at 7am on Tuesday and I will bring the snacks to the last game of the season (in January).
I am making sure to do my favorite traditions
Our multi family gingerbread decorating party, going to see the Big Guy at Northpark, donating gifts to the local toy drive, donating to the school angel program, sprinkling reindeer food out on Christmas Eve, baking Neimun Marcus Cookies to deliver to neighbors and dear friends, sending out the annual Johnson Christmas card, baking Jesus’s birthday cake and eating Hibachi after Christmas Eve Service.
I am saying No
I am saying “No” to the party I really have no desire to go to. I am saying “No” to the invite to go look at the same drab Christmas lights we have seen for years. I am saying “No” to overthinking gifts for everyone. I am saying yes to the events I want to genuinely go to like our friends fabulous Christmas pajama party (so my kind of party, in my PJs!) and holiday dinner with my close girl friends.
I will find Joy in the Pain
I am reminding myself what brings me joy during the holidays, being with the ones I love the most. This is going to be difficult this year because we have an empty seat at the table since my father’s passing. He is missed. His annual trip the John Deere dealership on Christmas Eve to let the boys pick out what ever they want, his perfectly cooked meat of choice and his snide comments and snickering leading to my mom to tell him to “hush.” Amidst his absence I will focus on the joy of my family, because without him my family would not be who we are.
Truth is many struggle with emotional pains of all kinds during what is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. I will have grace towards the crazy driver who almost hit me while picking up my dry cleaning today. I will have empathy for the lady in my way in the aisle at Target. I will have compassion for the new client on the couch who is dreading sitting across the dinner table from her mother who will never really know her.
My wish for you is to keep it simple, stay with your truth, and don’t over do it.
Remember the “Reason for the Season.”
Merry Christmas from my family to yours.
R.E.A.L. Housewives
“It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.” – Charles Dickens
Good old Charles….He pretty much summed up motherhood while singlehandedly managing to write a classic tale of two cities.
I’ll be honest that lately mommin’ has just felt like the worst of times…I.e…Waking up with Shelf Elf Anxiety (It’s really a thing people!!!) & coming to grips with guilt over with my decision to honor the Bad Moms Christmas movie & not send Christmas cards this year (Sorry Mom… In advance.)
So when my BFF Shelly and I were invited to a Real Housewives Themed Bunco party, I was super stoked. This tired mama more than needed a night out!.
Full disclosure, I proudly claim The Real Housewives of Anywhere one of my most thrilling & yet equally embarrassing guilty pleasures.
The invite challenged us to embody either our favorite housewife or the housewife we most related to…
Which one? Which one? The possibilities were endless.
Luckily for me, there was a handy dandy quiz to help me find out.
-
Did I recently jet off to another state in search of a miniature pony? Um No.
- Did I sell my 10 million dollar house, only to upsize to one with 15 bathrooms with a champagne bell conveniently located in the master closet? Not unless screaming at my husband from 3 rooms away to bring me a glass of wine counts? I’m guessing probably not.
-
Was my biggest stressor in life finding the perfect outfit to wear to my annual White party? (Nope again) I digress, but WHAT?
Who in their right mind has a white party? Don’t people know how hard it is to get red wine stains out of clothing?? Strike 3.
After trudging through the extremely thoughtful yet super shallow & super depressing 5 questions, my results were in…..
Wait…WHAT?
UM…NO!!!!!!!!
Turns out that the housewife I was most compatible with was not even on my radar, let alone one of my top 5 faves.
So when I called my sister from another mister to discuss my dismal quiz results & our equally dismal costume options, she had the perfect response…
“Do we really have to dress up? Can’t we just go as the real $%$^&&ing housewives we are? TIRED ONES!!!!REAL TIRED ONES!!!””
Yes!!! Yes!! I thought to myself. Instantly I felt a sense of relief (This is why Shelly is my ETERNAL ride or die-What would I do without her? )
Turns out, we didn’t even need a costume. We could just wear the yoga pants we’ve had on for 3 days straight.(Don’t be grossed out…We didn’t actually exercise in them.. WHO HAS TIME TO ACTUALLY EXERCISE?)
Part two of our costume could be our Tarje’ sweatshirts that sport our Coffee til Cocktails mantra. Truth be told, most days can’t we just skip straight to the cocktails???
So here’s to all of the REAL housewives out there!….R.E.A.L. tired ones. Not sure you qualify? Just take my handy dandy quiz!
Are you or have you ever been….
- R….eady to shank anyone who messes with your kid?
- E…specially irritable and easily annoyed (ALL the time by___(Anything & everything)?
- A…lways broke from buying kid crap, sending your kid to summer camp, creating a wardrobe for your Elf on the Shelf? (Philosophical question: Does an Elf really NEED a motorcycle jacket?
- L…ast but certainly not least…Literally on the verge of a nervous breakdown?
Well congrats …if you answered yes to even one of these questions…You are
a REAL HOUSEWIFE!!!
The quiz options are endless…
(R) running on empty?
(E) ating leftover goldfish randomly plucked from the center console of your mini-van or mid-sized S.U.V.?
(A)lways late!
(L)iking annoying people’s posts on FACEBOOK?…(YAY! I’m so freaking glad you just returned from a 2 week vaca in Greece whilst the most exciting place I ventured to this week was the Colleyville Post Office…ETERNAL EYE ROLL!
In a cruel twist of Charles Dickens like fate, after all of this costume planning & pondering, the long anticipated bunco party got canceled because …..
You guessed it….We were all too tired!!!!
Here’s to you REAL HOUSEWIVES everywhere!
Whether you are tossing tables, coordinating outfits for your hairless cats OR more likely, just trying to get through the day without killing someone who shares your D.N.A. , you will be ok. ..eventually anyway. It will all be ok-one of these days.
Just focus on getting through the next 10 minutes or do what my favorite author Glennon Melton Doyle says, ” Just do the next right thing.” Those 6 words have gotten me through many a mom-life crisis. Just do the next right REAL
thing. Thank you to all of the moms who help me remember that tired or not, we are all just “keeping it REAL!”
How to Support Your College Student During Finals
Forward: Welcome Intern Karley Knight back for her continued perspective of a college student giving advice to novice college parents….if you missed her last post find it here with her sharing about the big transition from high school to college.
It’s that time of year again.
The weather is getting cooler, people are digging out their favorite boots and jeans from the depths of their closets, everything is pumpkin spice flavored, and everyone is already counting down the days until Christmas. But as the leaves change colors and begin to disappear from the trees, so does the mental sanity of college students.
Finals Week!
Finals week is unique in the world of stress because it entails both a sense of urgency and a perpetual feeling of being unprepared. Even though your student studied for weeks, written copious amounts of colorful notes and highlighted every sentence in the book (because of course every sentence is a possible test question) in most cases the feeling of pure confidence is rare. As a parent who wants to protect their kid from such distress and dislikes seeing them in much turmoil, what are you to do? Sadly, there isn’t much you can do to take away the panic your child is feeling, but just because you can’t eliminate that stress doesn’t mean that you can’t alleviate it a little bit. Here are some suggestions to best support your frazzled college student as they prepare for hell (or finals) week:
Watch Your Communication
Whether you’ve been talking to your student twice a week since they’ve left or once a month, your communication dynamic is about to change. Conversations will now focus on the monstrous tests that loom in their future, how sleep deprived they are, and other things parents don’t want to hear. It is typical for you to want to check in on your child even more during finals season because you know it’s a difficult time for them, but I advise against this. Recognize that your student is probably immersed in studying and involved in study groups, so constantly calling will just add to their distress and distract them from studying.
Now this doesn’t mean that you should ignore them completely, but don’t helicopter them. Whenever your child explains their anxious feelings they aren’t expecting you to solve the problem, instead what they are seeking is comfort and reassurance from their loved ones. When you do talk to your student, make sure your interactions are positive and always end on a good note (“I love you” or “I’m sending you money” [a personal favorite]).
Encourage them to do their Best, not Be the Best
High school and college differ most in environment and grades. It’s easier to expect A’s and excellent academic performance in high school because the classes are much easier compared to what they take in college. In many classes, the score of the final exam has the power to dictate what the final grade of the course is, meaning that even if they ace all of the other assignments a poor final grade could tank the overall course grade. It’s VERY important to assure your student that you are expecting them to do the best they can do and put in as much effort as they can, but remind them that you’re not expecting them to be Einstein. Don’t make your child feel like they would be returning home as a failure if they don’t get a perfect score on their exams. Instead, whenever you’re having those positive conversations with your student, include how you will love them no matter what grade they get and that you believe in them. Fueling their self-esteem will make them feel more confident and competent going into their exams.
Remind them of the importance of Self-Care
It’s easy for students to get caught up in the hype of finals week and follow the bad examples set by their peers of not getting adequate rest, eating nutritious things, or even neglecting to keep up their personal hygiene (it happens and its gross). But even with less extreme cases, it’ still common for your student to develop bad habits while they’re preparing for finals because they’re too preoccupied with making their final grade a priority instead of taking a step back and taking care of themselves. What they don’t realize is that by neglecting to fulfill their needs and allowing their mind to recharge, their stress will only increase and their studying won’t be as effective. Remind them that while grades are important, it shouldn’t come at the cost of their own destruction. Taking care of your human is more important than taking care of your GPA- no matter what their college adviser says. Here are some basic reminders that I think all college students should be reminded of regarding personal care during finals week:
1. Pizza is not a food group.
2. Energy drinks are not a food group or a substitute for sleep. They’ll ultimately make you feel shaky and sick because you’ve been chugging 5 hour energy drinks (or whatever cheap gasoline-like energy fluid of choice) every day without eating
3. If you’re drinking more than 3 cups of coffee a day then you need to take a serious nap because that is also NOT okay
4. SHOWER. Non-negotiable
5. Indulge in small snacks and sweets every now and then to reward yourself, but don’t make that the only thing you’re eating.
6. Take a run or workout, the endorphins will make you feel better (and I like to think I’m literally running from my problems)
Give them something to look forward to
One of the tools I find very effective in providing some emotional relief during such a taxing time is to give your student something to look forward to. If all they can see in their future is a dark, dreary raincloud of hard tests and potential failure, it can be very discouraging and puts your child at risk for depression. Putting a bright light and promise of greener pastures in their future creates a ‘finish line’ of sorts on finals to remind students that although it may not feel like it, finals season does not last forever. Whether it’s mentioning a fun winter vacation or just promising them that they’ll return home to nice home cooked meals again, getting them exciting about something will do wonders for their motivation. Adding an end date to a hard time makes surviving it much easier. It encourages your child to do well in the present in order to enjoy what they’re looking forward to in the future.
Don’t underestimate the power of a Care Package!
Every now and then my mom will send me a small package of goodies in the mail. Whether its a surprise or not, it never fails to bring me so much joy. Having someone send me a considerate ‘thinking of you’ gift from home makes me feel so supported and revives my spirit. I highly encourage parents to ship their student a box of goodies to send some love their way (if your student attends community college consider just surprising them with something). It can be filled with anything from gift cards, snacks, supplies, or even just a handwritten card. This will provide your student with so much comfort and will be much appreciated.
Check out our Pinterest board for ideas
Every student deals with stress differently and every college structures their finals week differently, so take my advice with a grain of salt. But even though finals week will differ amongst campuses, you can bet that the colder the weather gets, the stronger the student stress. This is an important time for you to reach out to your student and show them your support, I promise it will bring you closer together if you comfort them during this hellish time.
Good luck!
How to Protect Your Kids (when you’re not there to protect them)
I have this ache, a pit in my stomach, a tightening in my throat as if I’m going to throw up or have to swallow hard to hold back…. Something like that. It’s a pain, a fear for my children, of my children feeling pain – their own pain. My pain. I wish I could protect them from it all but, I know I can’t and I hate this.
This school year has been an awakening in many ways. My son entering kindergarten has been more than an entry into tardy bells, PTA meetings, last minute projects, car pool lines, and site words; it has been an introduction to the possibility of my kid being hurt, feeling hurt and me not being there to protect him. This, for me, is tough.
1) Engage, engage, engage.
It would be so much easier if we knew everything that went on while we were away. Better still, if our kids told us themselves. But, this is not always the case. So asking questions that inspire a thoughtful response is key. Think open ended questions such as, “Who did you play with today?” Instead of “Did you play at recess today?” Or “Who was nice today?” versus “Was everyone nice today?” Even if your kid doesn’t have a specific response to these questions it opens the door to get a conversation going instead of being shut down by a one word answer.
2) “What do you think about that?”
3) Believe in the power of resilience.
How Adoption Has Changed My World
It’s hard to describe what the concept and the miracle of adoption means to me and to my family.
Sometimes you stumble upon something that grips your heart and your life. And without seeking it, it becomes you. Other times, your passions in life are because of the things that you pursue, and you work hard to get them. Ironically, adoption is a huge piece of my life both because we stumbled upon it and because we fought hard in seeking it.
This is a broad statement that I believe needs to be spoken at any adoption training, because adoption isn’t all rainbows and glitter. All adoption starts with unspeakably difficult losses for many involved. There isn’t an adoption that doesn’t start in this way, even though there are many happy, redeeming qualities to adoption. To ignore the loss is unwise and unfair. The visual of seeing an orphanage is life altering and not at all glossy coated and or manipulative in the way organizations that seek money portray these places. It is gritty. Every child without parents in any location anywhere in the world carries that loss in their eyes.
Many people will say that infant adoption is an exception to this because the child is so young that they don’t remember the loss. Of course they don’t remember, just like many toddlers won’t remember things that have occurred to them as they grow older. That doesn’t make it less traumatic for them, however. They’ve experienced a loss that should be acknowledged. And at different stages of life, they’ll need to process the loss differently, and they’ll most likely need their adoptive parents to help them flesh all of that out with them. They do not have the genetic makeup of their adoptive parents, and it is healthy for them to express sadness over that.
There are two types of memories: intrinsic and extrinsic. Extrinsic memories are the kind we usually talk about: we all have memories we talk about from childhood or know someone who has an amazing memory and can tell lots of stories from the past. Intrinsic memories, however, are memories that are locked into the body of a person, into their minds and emotions. For example, as infants begin to learn trust (versus mistrust), they figure out that the world is a safe place and that their parents will take care of them. If an infant hasn’t received that kind of basic love and nurture or has had inconsistency in caregivers, they get stuck in that stage and don’t learn trust as readily. Their bodies and emotions remember, even though their minds won’t recall the details. THAT is intrinsic memory.
I want to share a little bit about how parenting can look a little bit different when keeping attachment in mind. This can cause a little bit of loneliness in parenting unless you seek out other like-minded parents. Having other adoptive parents as friends has been life giving for us.
In everything we do as parents, we keep attachment in the back of our minds. Sometimes it’s in the forefront of our minds. There will never be a day that we say, “Okay, we are done with attachment work.” For us, it doesn’t work like that. Instead, we will forever be teaching our children that we are consistent, we are unconditional, we are forever, and we are an authority in their lives for their good. Depending on the child’s response to various situations they’ve faced, many times the ability to self soothe is less with a child who was adopted (especially with older child adoptions). We will give our kids the time and space to cool down, and we will give them the power and control to get a compromise sometimes when other parents wouldn’t do that.
We might let our kids do regressive things, like keeping a pacifier or a bottle later or rocking them to sleep for way longer than what is typical. We’ve missed those critical moments in their first years of life, you see, so we have to let them regress emotionally to those stages so that they can learn to trust. It looks different sometimes, but it is so much more than worth it, because we know the strength of the bonds we’ve forged by now in this family.
We won’t use physical punishment, and even our time outs will be different, because we won’t physically remove them from our presence. We will instead draw them near to us when they misbehave (using a time in), because we want them to know that even in their worst moments, we aren’t going anywhere. They have nothing to fear; we are forever, and our love doesn’t come and go with bad behavior (although they still will certainly have a consequence for any crime). Sometimes kids who have been through hard times as babies may have some sensory processing issues to work through or anxiety issues, maybe even night terrors.
Much like with anyone, we will give our kids grace as much as we possibly can (especially during vulnerable moments like meltdowns). We will be slow to judge others and just want others to do the same for us as parents. If your kids had the backgrounds our kids had, you’d want to probably do things this way for their benefit as well. I heard a presenter one time talk about how although we are not the biological parents, in so many ways, we do change our children’s biology. They’ve experienced trauma. We change their brains by teaching them to self soothe, by giving them love and receiving it, by teaching them to deal with anxiety, and by parenting with connection in mind in general. Our kids trust us and we trust them because we squat down low and speak in quiet voices (usually), and we make connection priority. We connect before we correct (when we are in our right minds and doing it well.)
So adoption is my passion, and it’s also my husband’s passion. Because without this miracle, we would be childless. We would not have these two little human beings forever in our families.
Our world is wonderful because of them; I know their grandparents would whole-heartedly agree. They laugh, and we experience joy like never before. Their unconditional love toward Mommy and Daddy is the best thing in the world. That love was fought for. Their sibling relationship blossoming has astounded me. We are completely smitten and taken with them, and we believe we were all meant for one another. Somehow on our marriage journey together, adoption both fell into our laps and we had to work hard for it all at the same time. Without our losses (ours being infertility and a miscarriage), we wouldn’t have this magical, blessed thing. We wouldn’t have been motivated to get through the mountains of paperwork and occasionally invasive home study. We can relate to the losses our kids experienced because we experienced a little bit of that ourselves on our journey to them. And we all four know that nothing in the whole world could separate us now. We are a team, and when one of us has a battle, we all fight it together. It is more than I could have ever asked for or imagined. I love my family. Love covers up so much that is wrong or broken in this world.
Adoption can sometimes be seen as second rate. For us, it was the glorious, miraculous story that unfolded despite our plans and after a season of heartbreak. It is not second rate, and we are so thankful that our first plans were thwarted. We are not hanging on to hope that we will now have ‘our own’ children (and what an offensive thing to say to us, so please don’t). These children are our own, don’t you see? This is our family, and we get to live this adventure! We cannot even believe how blessed we are.
Written by Amber Robinson for HappyMindHappyHome.com