one step at a time

Sometimes you just have to take life one step at a time. I have been telling myself this a lot lately as the storm in my life is still swirling out of control. I still feel so out of control. My dad lays in a hospital bed so confused about what all is going on. My mom is putting on her strong face while she is falling apart inside. My sister is waiting anxiously to meet her first child. Hubby is trying to hold it together but I know he is hurting as my Dad is the only father figure he has ever had. My kids cannot possibly understand the depth of this storm yet they are being troopers with the change in pace.

One step at a time

This is what I keep telling myself.

Get up

Put on a little make up

Show up

One step at time

I can make it through today

One day at time

One moment at a time

One sleepless night at a time

One step at a time

Everyone says you have to take care of yourself. Honestly, I am doing what I can. I pray. I talk. I attempt to get some rest.  Yet the storm keeps swirling.

When cancer strikes so much feels out of control. All you can do is take one step at a time.

That’s what I remember during my mom’s fight with ovarian cancer. When she was first diagnosed Hubby and I had just got married. I was just starting what was supposed to be the best time of my life. I was not ready to lose my mother. I was too young, I still needed her, I wanted her to meet my children, I wanted my children to know her, she was too young to die. She fought and she won. She has been cancer free for almost 7 years now.

The fight against cancer can be won.

And now cancer has struck again, things are so out of control. All I can do is take one step at a time. One foot in front of the other. One day at a time. My dad is laying in a hospital with his health in the hands of doctors. My dad, my big, strong, tough dad is in need of help. He is confused, sad, in disbelief, tired, worried. Metastatic Melanoma is dangerous, scary, aggressive, sneaky. This feels scarier. I don’t want to lose my dad, I am too young, I still need him, I want him to see my children grown to men, I want my children to know him more, he is too young to die. He wants to fight this.

He will be fighting for his life.

When life changes in an instant it really makes you think.

Life. God. Time. Relationships. Health. Purpose. Truth is sometimes we need this to make us stop and really, I mean really look at the worlds we have created.

I know today I will continue to take one step at a time. I will feel this sadness, worry, fear. I will be angry at cancer. I will be as strong as I can be while feeling so helpless inside. I will be thankful for all who are praying for us and for all who have reached out to see if we need anything. I will pray for the doctors and nurses who are taking care of my Dad. I will pray for one more step, one more moment, one more day.

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One thought on “one step at a time

  1. Feeling heaviness in my heart for you as you brave this battle alongside your dad. Much love and comfort to your heart, friend. 💙

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