Top 5 things my hubby does that annoy the shit out of me:
1. He does not listen
I have to say most things at least twice. I often ask if he even heard my comment because of his lack of acknowledgement. And when he did listen to me he usually tries to give me advice or tell me how to fix something.
2. He does not clean up after himself
I do the dishes 99.5% of the time. His clothes hit the floor right outside the clothes hamper. He does not clean the sink after he shaves and I am the only one who carries his shoes upstairs when they are piling up next to his recliner. Continue reading →
It seems like the first day of school was just yesterday. Time flies by hence why I often find myself wishing time would stand still. Truth is, time really does fly by. Seems like just the day before yesterday I was stroller walking with my neighborhood mom tribe. Well, with two more days of 1st and 2nd grade here at my house I am about to have a 2nd and 3rd grader. Time stand still!
With summer comes excitement, a bit of anxiety and a dash of dread. We get to sleep in! Go to the pool! Have street parties with kids out playing under the sunset. Grocery shopping might have to be after the hubby gets home because I dread taking kids to the grocery store. My work to-do list will be on the back burner till August. And then the dreaded “I’m Bored” will invariably sneak in at some point.
But before all that, before the last bell sounds, I am setting the summer screen-time standard.
What is that?Well, I have one little boy, I am not naming names here, that could sit and play x-box 360 for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 12 month in a row, 365 days a year. So I must set the summer screen time standard right out the summer starting gate. This will be part of their Hello Summer basket I give them Friday to celebrate school being out.
To be honest I function and feel like a better mom and wife when I have structure. And in truth my kids are better kids when they have structure. This way they know what is expected of them before they ask “Can I play electronics?” and hundred million times. This way I have to use my frustrated voice before 9am. This way they will not think sneaking downstairs and leaving the volume off will get them a few more minutes.
OK. Mom Confession.
This will not happen EVERYDAY. There WILL be days that I too need a break from all the structure. But I know that setting this expectation up front will make for one less power struggle on our Mommy Mondays.
Another thing I do every summer is have the boys make a Summer Bucket List. Check back so I can share what we come up with.
End of school projects, events and parties. Wrapping up sports…I am not sure why I broke my one sport each rule. Wait, yes I do, so they can find their favorite. A packed work schedule, plus travel for a 3 day conference. Not to mention Mother’s day festivities and a staycation weekend with my hubby. I did not get to make it to dinner with my tribe one night because both kids had to be on separate parts of town at the same time. I did not finish the craft project for sister’s nursery. I haven’t seen my BFF in months and I need some guacamole! I have not been eating as healthy as I’d like and I sure have not been making it to yoga. My house looks very lived in and we are expecting a letter from the HOA any day about the weeds in the flower bed. Some days I just need more hours in the day.
I laid in bed last night with my mind racing of the many to-dos I need and want to do. I laid in bed last night feeling guilty I have not been present enough for those I cherish the most. I laid in bed wondering if I should just get up and get to work. I laid in bed wishing I had a maid and lawn service on call. I laid in bed wishing I just had more help. I laid in bed wondering if my priorities are off. I laid in bed wishing there were more hours to the day so I can just catch up.
This is all very convicting because if you have been following me I am all about showing up, not glorifying being busy and setting priorities. Okay, so my dilemma is ALL this is a priority. My marriage, being a mom, being a good therapist, being a good sister, being a good friend, growing my business, staying mentally health, staying physically healthy. With all this comes being real, honest, and authentic. This is all convicting because even though these are my priorities and I preach this all the time to others, it is hard. This is a day I could use just a few more hours.
Today I am feeling a bit defeated.
Today I am feeling sad.
Today I am feeling overwhelmed.
Today I am feeling like a failure.
Today I am feeling tired.
Today I must take one step at a time.
Today is a refresher course of being in the fire. Today I gain wisdom about myself, my relationships, my goals, my priorities.
Today I dig for strength to put one step in front of the other. Wake up, get up, put on my makeup, one step in front of the other. I dig for strength to show up, my kids need me as they are a bit run down from all the rush rush lately too. I dig for strength to trust that even my though my marriage is not perfect, we are forgiving of one another for times of disconnection and discontent. I dig for strength to show up for my client’s as they work on their story.
I am reminded that I must be kind to myself. Another reminder to practice what I preach. Be kind and loving. Kindness comes from a practice of mindfulness to not allow all the self-sabotage talk to soak in. Kindness is reminding myself that perfection is an illusion, perfectly imperfect is the goal. Taking one step at a time is good enough.
Before the 5:30 alarm went off my mind was racing with all that had to get done since I “took the day off” for Mother’s Day. As I had mentioned I did not want breakfast in bed, I knew our day consisted of football games and basketball games, leaving my main request for a Mambo taxi by the end of the day.
Some of us are quietly anticipating Sunday, Mother’s Day. The day we are served breakfast in bed and everyone waits hand and foot on us for once. The day we are showered in gifts sometimes homemade sometimes bought with Dad’s money. The day to do whatever we want because it is Mother’s Day.
Can you think of something you want to do that is FUN?
I ask this question a lot to my clients and more times than not I get a blank stare or stark silence as the answer. In the multitude of to-dos we all have heard that self care inevitably needs to be a priority. Fun needs to be at the top!
Let me remind you what FUN means:
Why stop and have fun? Because it gives you natural joy, it makes you smile, it usually changes the pace, all things we need.
When was the last time you had FUN with your husband?
Don’t tell me you don’t have enough time. Don’t tell me yall don’t know how to have fun together anymore. Don’t tell me you don’t want to spend the money. I don’t accept excuses.
Think back to when you were dating, what did yall do for fun? Remember how it used to be a priority, back when you liked your husband more…….see the connection….fun + together = liking your spouse again.
When was the last time you had fun with your kids?
No I don’t mean the hours you are in the car together going from baseball practice, to the birthday party, to going to see Mimi. I mean when did you have fun with them. As in putting down the cell phone and chasing bubbles together. As in playing a game together. As in having a dance party in the living room or as Dillon often requests, family night at Dave & Busters.
When was the last time you had fun?
If you cannot come up with a good answer it is time to make FUN a priority again.
My heart has been heavy this week with the realities of life and death. We received a call from a dear friend that his mother had passed. A client on the couch shared about her thoughts of suicide. Spring storms here in Texas stole lives unexpectedly. All reminders that each day is a gift.
Most weeks the family google calendar is very colorful. Most weeks my work calendar is full of client appointments as well as the multitude of to-dos as a business owner. Most weeks I keep a personal bullet journal to help me visualize all the pieces of me. This is not a competition, but I think it is fair to say, I am busy. Continue reading →