A New Approach to Wellness & Weight Loss

New Year…New You? …Not so Fast!

If you are like millions of Americans, the past few weeks have been a mix of recovering from the merriment/madness of the holidays & contemplating change.

We all know the drill, January 1st rolls around & gets us thinking about what is and is not working in our lives. If only for a few days, making a commitment towards positive change seems like an obtainable goal.
For many, this positive change involves losing weight. Every January 1st, I leap onto the weight loss band wagon, only to be derailed at the first sight of cheese & wine.
So why is it so difficult to develop & maintain healthier habits? 

By now, the “how’ is no mystery. I’m no rocket scientist and I really really hate math, but I understand that my calories out have to be less than calories in. Nevertheless, study after study indicates that while many succeed in in losing some weight, the long term results are usually poor. Why is it so hard then to stick to a healthy eating plan and a reasonable exercise regime? I’m a mom, so I could give you a thousand reasons…stress, time, lack of planning, picky children, wine. If you are R.E.A.L. Tired Housewife, the reasons truly are endless.

So this year, I am taking a different approach to better health. It’s one that I actually know quite well but have never thought to apply to the areas of weight and wellness. (Talk about a light bulb moment!) It’s no secret that  I constantly sing the praises of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  I am so passionate about this approach to maintaining one’s mental health, that I use it as my primary strategy when working with clients of all ages.

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So it stands to reason that if faulty thinking patterns contribute a host of mental health problems, it might also be the reason they remain unable to finally achieve the healthy lifestyle they  so desperately aspire to.

I would suspect that it is because knowing what to do & knowing how to get yourself to do it are entirely separate skills. Getting ourselves to create new habits depends largely on the silent conversation we have with ourselves: our thoughts. 

Since I would never ask a client to do something I would not be willing to do myself, the ideas that come next are going to be tested first and foremost on me. I’ll agree to be my own guinea pig.

Let me state for the record that I am not focusing on losing weight. I have wasted way too much of my precious life focusing on a number on a scale. No longer a slave to the scale, what matters to me most is how I feel on a daily basis. So the goal is: be a little less tired real housewife. 

  I’ll first work to identify destructive thoughts keeping me from  achieving my wellness goals. Once those are identified, I will develop strategies to actively challenge and change those thoughts into more helpful ones. I ask clients to do this all of the time and I am their accountability coach. You then, friends & readers, will be my accountability guide.

So what does this actually look like in real Mom Life?  I’ll create cards on a ring to record new, more helpful thoughts & keep these cards in a prominent place..i.e. kitchen, car, office, or any place where I tend to lose focus and motivation. If you have children, (that’s basically everywhere and anywhere). Think of it almost as a portable vision board of words!

Here are a few examples of thoughts I plan to tackle:

  • Old: I have tried eating healthier before and always fall back into my old patterns.

NEW: Changing my thoughts has led to great gains in mental health for me and this time I’m applying those techniques to wellness. 

  • Old: My family is full of picky eaters and they won’t be supportive of this new way of eating.

NEW: My family has supported my goals in the past and will be inspired when I succeed.

  • I will have to be much less social if I change my eating & drinking patterns, and being with friends is a huge part of my life that I am not willing to give up.

NEW: I can & will still go out with friends, but I can  plan what I will eat/drink in advance & not waiver from that. I will surround myself with people who have like-minded goals and bring out the best in me by supporting my positive changes.

Using note cards to keep it real & stay motivated..
I love this reminder that this journey is about progress not perfection.

 

As I say often, the goal is progress, not perfection. I know I won’t be perfect on this journey to wellness, but I promise to keep you posted on my progress and cheer you on if you too decide to make 2018 a year of change.

R.E.A.L. Housewives

“It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.” – Charles Dickens

     

Good old Charles….He pretty much summed up motherhood while singlehandedly managing to write a classic tale of two cities.

I’ll be honest that lately mommin’ has just felt like the worst of times…I.e…Waking up with Shelf Elf Anxiety (It’s really a thing people!!!) & coming to grips with guilt over with my decision to honor the Bad Moms Christmas movie & not send Christmas cards this year (Sorry Mom… In advance.)

So when my BFF Shelly and I were invited to a Real Housewives Themed Bunco party, I was super stoked. This tired mama more than needed a night out!.

Full disclosure, I proudly claim The Real Housewives of Anywhere one of my most thrilling & yet equally embarrassing guilty pleasures.

The invite challenged us to embody either our favorite housewife or the housewife we most related to…

Which one? Which one? The possibilities were endless.

Luckily for me, there was a handy dandy quiz to help me find out.

  • Did I recently jet off to another state in search of a miniature pony? Um No.

     
     

  • Did I sell my 10 million dollar house, only to upsize to one with 15 bathrooms with a champagne bell conveniently located in the master closet? Not unless screaming at my husband from 3 rooms away to bring me a glass of wine counts? I’m guessing probably not.

 

  • Was my biggest stressor in life finding the perfect outfit to wear to my annual White party? (Nope again) I digress, but WHAT?

    Who in their right mind has a white party? Don’t people know how hard it is to get red wine stains out of clothing?? Strike 3.

After trudging through the extremely thoughtful yet super shallow & super depressing 5 questions, my results were in…..

Wait…WHAT?

UMNO!!!!!!!!

Turns out that the housewife I was most compatible with was not even on my radar, let alone one of my top 5 faves.

So when I called my sister from another mister to discuss my dismal quiz results & our equally dismal costume options, she had the perfect response…

“Do we really have to dress up? Can’t we just go as the real $%$^&&ing housewives we are? TIRED ONES!!!!REAL TIRED ONES!!!””

Yes!!! Yes!! I thought to myself. Instantly I felt a sense of relief (This is why Shelly is my ETERNAL ride or die-What would I do without her? )

Turns out, we didn’t even need a costume. We could just wear the yoga pants we’ve had on for 3 days straight.(Don’t be grossed out…We didn’t actually exercise in them.. WHO HAS TIME TO ACTUALLY EXERCISE?)

Part two of our costume could be our Tarje’ sweatshirts that sport our Coffee til Cocktails mantra. Truth be told, most days can’t we just skip straight to the cocktails???

So here’s to all of the REAL housewives out there!….R.E.A.L. tired ones. Not sure you qualify? Just take my handy dandy quiz!

Are you or have you ever been….

  • R….eady to shank anyone who messes with your kid?
  • E…specially irritable and easily annoyed (ALL the time by___(Anything & everything)?
  • A…lways broke from buying kid crap, sending your kid to summer camp, creating a wardrobe for your Elf on the Shelf? (Philosophical question: Does an Elf really NEED a motorcycle jacket?
  • L…ast but certainly not least…Literally on the verge of a nervous breakdown?

Well congrats …if you answered yes to even one of these questions…You are
a REAL HOUSEWIFE!!!

The quiz options are endless…

(R) running on empty?

(E) ating leftover goldfish randomly plucked from the center console of your mini-van or mid-sized S.U.V.?

(A)lways late!

(L)iking annoying people’s posts on FACEBOOK?…(YAY! I’m so freaking glad you just returned from a 2 week vaca in Greece whilst the most exciting place I ventured to this week was the Colleyville Post Office…ETERNAL EYE ROLL!

In a cruel twist of Charles Dickens like fate, after all of this costume planning & pondering, the long anticipated bunco party got canceled because …..

You guessed it….We were all too tired!!!!

Here’s to you REAL HOUSEWIVES everywhere!

Whether you are tossing tables, coordinating outfits for your hairless cats OR more likely, just trying to get through the day without killing someone who shares your D.N.A. , you will be ok. ..eventually anyway. It will all be ok-one of these days.

Just focus on getting through the next 10 minutes or do what my favorite author Glennon Melton Doyle says, ” Just do the next right thing.” Those 6 words have gotten me through many a mom-life crisis. Just do the next right REAL
thing. Thank you to all of the moms who help me remember that tired or not, we are all just “keeping it REAL!”

  

Frighteningly Affordable Party Decorating

In previous posts I have declared my undying love for the .99 Cent Store. Thus when you pair my favorite store with my favorite holiday, you can begin to imagine all of the creativity that ensues. This year was all the more fun because my son decided on a Nightmare Before Christmas Themed birthday party.

This declaration came as a pleasant surprise considering the fact that his previous party theme suggestion was an alien luau….(Yes…you read that correctly!) While he certainly gets 2 gold stars for creativity, my thoughts were… W.T.H??. and N.O.

As much as party planning makes me giddy, I was literally at a loss with that one. There aren’t enough dollar stores in the world to get that idea off the ground. Needless to say, I took the Nightmare theme and ran with it…straight to Hobby Lobby and the  .99 Cent Store.

I have included party pics below and a few tips for making .99 cents look like a million bucks.  All items shown were purchased at a dollar store, Hobby Lobby, Target Dollar spot or Ross with the exception of the Jack Skellington Stuffed centerpiece..He was a splurge!  

Happy Holidays from my family to yours!

Tip 1: Layer several place mats and dishes to add visual interest. These are dollar store place mats!

 

 

 


 

 

 

Tip 2: Tuck little surprises into unexpected places. This dollar store spider peeks out to greet little party guests at the front door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

      More dollar store finds!
Tip 3: DIY! This banner was a do it yourself craft from Hobby Lobby. I added some tissue paper poms & a furry friend.               
Tip 4: Think outside the cauldron & use items in ways other than what they were intended for. This chair cover is stuffed with a standard sized pillow to add comfort & fun to the outdoor seating area.

 

Dollar store hanging pumpkins work perfectly perched atop outdoor urns.

Tip 5: Use every day items you already have around your house to decorate. This table runner is actually just wrapping paper from Hobby Lobby.

Enough

How many more ? How many more precious souls will be lost before we collectively seek to understand and heal the underlying causes of mass murder in America?

As a mental health professional, I wish I could say I was hopeful about finding a solution but unfortunately, I am not.  If we did not make this horrific problem a priority the day 26 innocent children & teachers were senselessly slaughtered in their classrooms, I fear we never will.

enough Continue reading

I AM THAT GIRL

GIRLS MATTER.

Girls receive over 3,000 messages a day telling them what they aren’t and I AM THAT GIRL exists to help them celebrate what they are.  I am that girl is a movement inspiring girls to love, express, and be exactly who they are.

My Girl…You have a beautiful heart and a beautiful mind. I love you! Mom

They have several local chapters of forward thinking girls & women on High School and College campuses. These chapters work to shift girl culture in America, by raising the standards for how girls treat themselves, each other, and the world.

When I spotted this noble venture on line, I was reminded that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is rooted in exploring and challenging negative core beliefs individuals have about ourselves,  others, and the world. This type of therapy teaches the skills necessary to overcome negative & destructive patterns of thinking.

Cognitive behavioral therapy also helps to identify which factors are playing a role in maintaining a negative body image and works to address each one by teaching the skills necessary to allow healing to occur.

Once the negative thoughts have been identified and evaluated for truthfulness, it is time to replace them with positive, productive thoughts that create a favorable outcome. this involves practice and dedication but has been demonstrated to be extremely effective in breaking the cycle of negative thinking.

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.” Maya Angelou

If you or someone you know suffers from body image problems, low self esteem, or body dysmorphic disorder, I would encourage you to contact a counselor in your area for guidance and support. Please take a minute today to visit I AM THAT GIRL.COM and take the pledge today!  I have done it…Now it’s your turn. http://www.iamthatgirl.com/

I, Angie Glancy, am that girl…

I have a brilliant heart and a beautiful mind. I am me, an amazing work in progress, and perfectly flawed. I promise to lift other girls up, have their backs, and make it safe for them to be exactly who they are. I’m on a mission to raise the standards for how we treat each other, how we treat ourselves, and how we treat the world. Every time I look in the mirror I’ll remind myself that I’m not alone, that my voice matters, and that I am enough.

 

https://instagram.com/iamthatgirl

Stinkin’ Thinkin’

Earlier in the week I introduced you to the basic concepts of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT is a direct approach to problem solving in counseling that focuses on identifying, challenging, and changing faulty belief systems and distorted ways of thinking…otherwise known as Stinkin’ Thinkin”.

My last blog post explored the powerful link between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Today we will move beyond the CBT triangle and focus on distorted thinking patterns called Cognitive distortions. Quite simply, cognitive distortions are inaccurate thoughts that reinforce negative thinking, behavior, and emotions.

For instance, a mom who has just signed on for a new PTA position might tell herself she SHOULDN’T make any mistakes in this new role and MUST transition into the role seamlessly. These types of SHOULD/MUST thoughts cause anxiety & unnecessary emotional distress.

Below are a few more types of distorted thinking that can lead to what I like to call “Mommy-Manic Moments!!!!”

Magnifying or Minimizing: Exaggerating or minimizing the importance of events-discounting achievements or exaggerating mistakes. “Everyone noticed I left the date off of the school carnival packet. This is AWFUL & everyone will think I am incompetent.”

Overgeneralizing: Making broad statements from a single or a few events. “I wasn’t as prepared for the PTA meeting today as I should have been. I am always unprepared!” 

Magical Thinking: A belief that acts will influence unrelated situations. “I am a good person-bad things should not happen to me.”

Personalization: Believing that one is responsible for events outside of his/her own control. “My child is going through a hard time. If I were a better mom, my child would never have to face hard times.”

Jumping to Conclusions by Mind Reading: Interpreting the thoughts and beliefs of others without adequate evidence. “Little Johnny wasn’t invited to that birthday party, so that mom must think he is an awful kid!” 

Jumping to Conclusions by Fortune Telling: Expecting a situation will turn out badly without adequate evidence. “Little Bobby will surely fail 2nd grade because he isn’t reading at the same level as the other children in his class.” 

As you can probably guess, this type of negative thinking leads to anxiety & depression….Not to mention countless unplanned trips to TARGET for retail therapy!!!! In upcoming posts, we will explore a few more types of Stinkin’ Thinkin’ & begin the process of challenging and changing Negative Nelly thoughts.

Until then…

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Mommy Mind Make-Over…The Cognitive Triangle Explained

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought.”

This simple premise is the cornerstone of my work as a therapist.

I have found that the root of a client’s anxiety and/or depression is often directly related to his/her core beliefs about himself, others and the world around him. These beliefs, in combination with distorted thinking patterns, cause a great deal of emotional distress.

So it stands to reason that if we harness the power of our thoughts, we can directly influence our feelings & behaviors.  This idea is the backbone of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a short term, goal-oriented psychotherapy treatment that takes a hands-on, practical approach to problem solving. Quite simply: changing your thoughts can change your life!

Sound too good to be true?  It’s not. With a lot of introspection and a little homework, you will be well on your way to mastering your mind.

In my upcoming blog posts, I will shed light on the core principles of CBT. Today, however, we will begin to explore  the foundation upon which CBT is built.

The first step in understanding CBT is to understand that feelings, actions, and thoughts are always connected.

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Here is an example of this triangle in action:

Situation:  I have an upcoming blog post deadline & a mountain of laundry looming in the other room. If my thought is…I’ll NEVER get this blog post done in time, I immediately feel ANXIOUS. This feeling of dread might cause me to avoid doing either task & instead, binge watch 1,000 episodes of Odd Mom Out.  

My negative (all or nothing-always /never) thinking in this situation led to anxiety and avoidance…Not to mention some serious mind sucking t.v. time…which does little to help me conquer the Everest of Underwear in the other room.

With a small mommy mind makeover, I will rewind this scenario & hopefully end up with a more productive outcome.

Situation:  I have an upcoming blog post deadline & a mountain of laundry looming in the other room. If my thought is…This blog post deadline is looming & so is the laundry. I’ve been in this situation before & I managed to get it all done. If I stay relaxed, I will be more productive.  As a result, I feel less ANXIOUS and more hopeful.  This new feeling of calm helps me to work on each task a little at a time and eventually get both of the tasks done. …Which in turn allows time for a glass of wine &  2 episodes of Odd Mom Out. 

This mind makeover is obviously a win/win for booze, BRAVO & Borax! 

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Your homework this week is simple:

1) Put on your big girl panties… (Hopefully they’re clean!)

2)  Put a lot of thought into situations that trigger you to feel anxious, overwhelmed, etc..&  jot them down. 

3) Stay tuned….In upcoming posts, we will explore how to label these thoughts and (if they are irrational), change them.

 

Happy Mommin’ –

Angie Glancy

 

 

These Are the Days

I just arrived home a little carsick & A LOT heart sick. Watching the Frio River disappear from view is undoubtedly my least favorite part of the summer.

My favorite part? Everything else.

My intention was to share my favorite memories with words but last night, while gazing up at 1,000 Texas stars, I drank in all of my favorite songs, and changed my mind.

(It is a girl’s prerogative after all & this Texas Girl is no exception!)

So hear you go folks….this pretty much says it all.

 

 

 

“When a girl asks you to listen to a song, it’s because the lyrics mean everything she is trying to say.”

 

Click below so I can tell you about my trip. 🙂

These Are the Days by Van Morrison

 

Will won our game of Garner Washers but he still owes me a dance!