If You Really Love Your Mother….Let Her Sleep!!!

Mom Madness Month (a.k.a. May) is in full effect and if you are a mom, you know that the odds of getting  good night’s sleep between now and the last day of school are about the same as those of winning the lotto.  For most moms, May might as well be Insomnia Awareness month….it’s a tough time in every mama’s life and when the going gets tough…the tough get going…to the nearest At Home, Home Goods, & Tuesday Morning!

My night stands were beginning to look as old and tired as I feel these days & they needed to be perked up! My design started with these adorable & very affordable prints from At Home.

A simple tray and a few fun coffee table books are always a wise choice for making a statement. I added this fun succulent for a pop of color.e prints from At Home. This quote reminds me to make the most of every single day!

 

 

Ideas to include on your night stand: lip balm, note pad for late night brainstorms & to-do lists, calming pillow spray, fresh flowers, candle, books, coasters, sleep mask

Surviving the Final Six Weeks: It’s Not Over Yet!

No more pencils,
No more books,
No more teachers’ dirty looks

Alice Cooper looked forward to summer break for many reasons, unfortunately some of our own kids do not respond to that long awaited break with the same rock-n-roll angst.

School is almost out for summer, and as an instructional specialist in an elementary school and a mother of two, I am surrounded by excitement, fear, anxiety and burnout all day long during this time of the year.

Just this week, students are coming into school in tears and on edge in response to the smallest things. Teachers are burnt-out, they have given all their energy and time to their students, they can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but the year is not over and the all-important state tests have not even started.

Why are they so emotional?

Many of our children (especially mine) thrive on the structure that school brings that summer just does not have. Monday through Friday, their friends surround them and adults talk with them, listen to them, read to them, and play with them. School also provides, for many of my students, two hot meals a day. Sometimes the stress of knowing just one of those things might go away can bring on anxiety.

My son cannot handle change very well, he relies on a schedule; over the summer, he will wake up and create our ‘To Do’ List every morning and if I veer off that schedule he will call me out on it.

The end of the school year transition can bring many unwanted emotions that can be difficult to deal with. My advice is:

Do Not Ignore It

Acknowledge this time of year as difficult for all of us. Talk about the feelings that it is bringing to your child or student. What we see on the surface of each of our children is just the ‘tip of the iceberg’. Allow your child to express how they are feeling. When we ask our children to deny their emotions or we belittle their feelings the ‘iceberg’ can flip- beneath the surface becomes visible. In return, we get tantrums, tears, lashing out, or other harmful responses.

I suggest talking to them about the memories they have had from school. Talk to them about what they are looking forward to next year, during the summer break, and set goals. One of my friends creates a Summer Bucket List with her daughters. I actually just printed one off from TheBestIdeasForKids.com, and we have it hanging proudly next to our calendar. https://www.thebestideasforkids.com/?s=summer+bucket+list

Here are a few more tips on finishing the school year strong…

1. Set goals with your student:

This is the time of year that state testing and reading level assessments become the classroom focus, but also a time of year when behaviors in the classroom start to get a little uncharacteristic. Set a goal with them AND help them create a plan of action to help reach that goal.

2. Update the Merch:

I am so guilty about this. My first grader’s binder is torn to pieces, and I have been promising him I would get him a new 3-ring binder. Even his shorts and pants are too short- he has grown so much this year, it is difficult to keep up. The school year is nearing the end, but his supplies and his SWAG do not need to look as defeated as I am feeling which can create a mindset that “the year is over, so who cares.” *It won’t hurt to send a few store bought pencils or Lysol wipes to the classroom teacher either at this time* (I am sure they will provide your child with a little extra love and care that day as well)

3. Lead by Example:

I will be honest, some days after work the couch, a glass of vino, and Netflix are all calling my name. Unfortunately, there is still homework; there are still goals we all want to reach – ABC’s for Henry, Math facts for Charles. If I talk about how excited I am about summer break, then their tenacity and focus gets depleted. Keep first things, first. I have to remember summer will come, but if I keep talking about it, if I keep thinking about it- the anxiety will get to all of us.

4. Routine:

Keep the routine, especially in the morning. At the beginning of the school year, it is easier to start your morning off early, maybe workout, throw lunches together, and eat breakfast together. Toward the end of the year, snoozing a few more times, a few extra minutes won’t hurt, right? WRONG! The moment you start to rush, is the moment your child begins to stress.

The most important thing to remember is to keep calm, talk about the transition and the important emotions that come with it.

** Original text by Aubrey Steinbrink. Aubrey is an Intervention Specialist at an elementary school in North Texas, avid education advocate, and mother to two young boys. Aubrey writes for her own blogs Teachingthetoughstuff.blog & Omnivore2herbivore.blog

Why Are We Doing This

 Little over a year ago we launched this blog already asking ourselves… Why are we doing this? 

“So, here’s to learning, growing, and living in community with you and with each other as we all strive to create a more Happy Mind and Happy Home.” We three women, mom’s, friends and co-counselors are done just that. We have learned and grown with this community over the past year. We each wanted to share our reflections.

be brave

Lisa:

What a difference a year makes! Now that it has been one year since the birth of this blog, I can truly say I understand the truth of this statement. When we first began this blogging journey we asked ourselves, and each other, what is my intention? Why am I doing this? What for? My resounding answer was: personal growth.

I knew instinctively there was something waiting for me on the other side of opening up, speaking out, and sharing myself on a level I never had before; Not in this way at least. What I found right out of the gate was that my choice to be vulnerable and authentic was met with a heavy slap of fear, insecurity, and shame. It kind of sucked actually… for a little while.

After the waves of self doubt started to settle I began to experience a new sense of freedom; liberation from perfectionism, and a deep sigh of relief that when I was met with the good company of other imperfect woman such as myself. A reunion of self acceptance, support, and understanding. What a beautiful place to be.

My life this past year has been full of change and challenge. The blog gave me an outlet, a place to process, and a place to gain understanding of myself while simultaneously offering the same to others. From here my purpose in blog writing shifted from a place of personal growth to one of offering support, encouragement, and understanding to myself and our readers. This has been my growth.

I have gained new friendships and deeper friendships from finding out that it’s not about getting it right all the time, but about being REAL all the time. I am not sure where the blog will take me this next 365 days, but I do know I intend to continue on the journey of being real and encouraging you to do the same. Thank YOU for being with us. I hope you stay and find a little or a lot of encouragement, laughter, and support along the way.

be brave

Andrea:

As I sit to reflect on this first year of blogging my brain automatically starts making lists, so here are my top 3 things I have learned from blogging thus far.

1. Flexibility is an Art

When we first began this blogging journey we asked ourselves, and each other, what is my intention? Why am I doing this? What for? My resounding answer was: professional growth. My goal was to focus on my training in The Gottman Method. Writing about what makes marriage work and frankly what does not make marriage work. Well, obviously that did not happen. With all the twists of life this blog flexed in to a more personal form of growth and expression. The biggest tragedy of my almost 40 years happened this past year, losing my father. This blog gave me place to process and share through this crisis. As I have often seen through my work on the couch, crisis often is followed by change. I have enjoyed sharing the changes in my home as we have worked on a lot of redo’s and updates in the time since my father passed.

2. Vulnerability sucks

Since my original plan was to stay safe with “professional growth” I was also safe from public displays of emotional vomit. Obviously, the Man upstairs knew I needed to get in the fire more than I have been. Allowing myself the time to sit, feel, think, feel, write, feel, talk, feel, share MY stuff was at times painful, at times freeing while at times scary. BUT, I needed that. I do a lot of vulnerability selling to those on my couch, so it is better if I have a fresh dose of what I am selling. This has made me more real, inside and out.

3. Self care really is the foundation

As we started I worried about adding yet another ‘thing’ to my to-do list. And lets not be fooled, managing a blog requires a lot of time, hence why I am so thankful for Lisa and Angie going on this HMHH journey with me. I have learned that when you add the right things to your to-do list they in some ways themselves ARE self-care. Sure, this blog thing can be a lot of work, but since I was flexible and allowed this to twist into what it has organically become it does not often feel like a task on the to list. It feels more like “ahh, I have time to write tonight” or “I get to share this” and at times has been “I have to get this out of my head.” I honestly, am not sure where my emotional state would be today if I did not have this blog and my tribe by my side.

perfectly imperfect

Angie:

What a difference a year makes!

It is hard to wrap my brain around the fact that it has been 1 year since Lisa, Andrea, and I started Happy Mind Happy Home. As I was reflecting upon Why am I doing this? What for? My resounding answer was: to give a voice to other moms trying to balance being a wife, mother, daughter, and friend, what stood out to me most was the daily challenge to be mindful…..and present: for our families, selves, and friends.

My other goal was to resonant with women out there who say, “You struggle with____?” “Me too!” I have grown to tremendously love and respect Lisa & Andrea both and I can’t imagine having taken this journey with anyone else. Each of us has faced our own unique life changes and challenges. We each have faced those obstacles with a little bit of grace and a whole lot of humor….For trust me, there have been times when, if we didn’t laugh, we would surely cry….and let’s face it…never stop crying.

What strikes me most about my two friends, fellow moms, and bloggers, is the forgiveness & grace they often give me that I do not afford myself. My perfectionist tendencies often get the best of me & overcoming the unrealistic expectations I set for myself is often a daily struggle.

Therefore, it was more than ironic that near the 1 year blog anniversary, I stumbled upon this message in a devotional that was given to me by a during a particularly dark chapter in my life. It ccertainly resonated with me, and I hope it does with you too:

Here’s to everyone out there just trying to survive their journey. Have faith and know that you are fearfully and beautifully made. God is with you & so are we, as you become everything God intended you to be.

Blessings & Love…From my Nest to Yours!

Learning To Talk About Pain

I never thought I’d be someone who struggles with chronic pain

(the following entry is written anonymously by a mom in my tribe sharing about her daily battle with pain and her stepping into using her voice for healing and support)

chronic pain

I’ve always had headaches. It’s just part of who I am, and my momma used to tell me to make sure I ate well and often (as we thought they were related to blood sugar). I remember I would throw up in 5th grade due to them fairly regularly, and then I grew out of that phase. I continued just having occasional headaches, only needing ibuprofen to deal with it. Even right before becoming a mom, when I began having ocular migraines (seeing an aura prior to the headache), I didn’t need much for the pain. The pain was worse, and the vision problems were scary, but after being told it was normal, I moved on and didn’t get on a preventative medication or even use the abortive one I was prescribed very often.

My true difficulties began in February of 2017 when my kids and I all got the flu. At the time, they both needed me in the middle of the night if they woke up. My daughter was still somewhat adjusting to our family changing when we adopted our son in 2016. I did not do a great job of taking care or myself during that flu apparently. I remember not eating very well and not wanting family or friends to come over to help for fear that they’d get sick. I was doing it all myself, which was something I was comfortable with. I think I really like being the only one to take care of my kids even more than some, because I did not get the first years of their lives with them (as they were adopted as toddlers). So I tend to want to do it all, even if it’s hard, especially for the sake of our parent/child bond. It’s my privilege and my job as their mom to do it.

So about a week or so after the flu left us, I began to get a headache. I just couldn’t shake it.  My husband didn’t understand what was wrong with me because normally I got better faster from headaches or migraines. Five days later, it was worse than ever, and I asked my husband to look at a small spot on my forehead. I figured he would dismiss it, but his eyes got big and he said, “That’s shingles.”

And hence my life changed.

chronic pain

Nothing has been the same since that terrible diagnosis. It started with horrific, debilitating pain during which I thought I was dying multiple times. As a professional therapist, I eventually recognized that I was having panic attacks with the waves of intense pain, so I utilized mindfulness strategies with my pain medications. It was brutal. I thought it would be gone within a few weeks, at least.

It has now been over a year.

I don’t have the intense pain that I had during that initial outbreak when the rash was active, but I have daily, chronic pain from the horrible virus of shingles. My trigeminal nerve was impacted, so the vision in my right eye is not great and my right ear aches often. The worst thing though is my ‘pain spot’ in my head; it is a bundle of angry nerves that apparently don’t want to heal yet from shingles. Post herpetic neuralgia is nerve damage; I just have to wait and see if it will fade away or if it won’t. There are preventative medications I take for the pain now, but there’s nothing that works for the pain spikes other than ice and rest. It is different from migraines in that way. It has also interplayed with my migraines terribly, so now they are worse than they were before shingles, and I do have to take preventative and abortive medications.

chronic pain

My children are wonderful. My home and job are amazing. My husband is my biggest supporter in life. My family is always, always there for me. However, it has been the hardest year of my life. And in the past I’ve gone through things that should’ve been much more difficult in my opinion. My close people know the events that I’m talking about, both emotional and physical things. Those things should’ve been harder, and I’m a little angry that this issue is what is taking me down. Chronic pain, as I have just now claimed it for what it is, has clearly been the trial I’ve been the most humbled by.

It’s been helpful to let my shame about this go and to start talking to people about it. I mean, people knew I struggled some physically but no one knew the extent of how much this has taken over my life. I’ve been evaluating lately: what exactly do I feel so ashamed about?

Clearly, I didn’t want to get shingles, and being the 5% who maintains the nerve pain (called post herpetic neuralgia) wasn’t on my to-do list either. I can usually talk about emotional issues relatively easily, and even with infertility, I found a way to share that journey with people. With this, the pain has been so intense for so long that I’ve recently noticed I have isolated myself in some ways. I didn’t want to bring others down, constantly complaining of pain; I couldn’t stand the thought of being that negative person. I also didn’t feel good enough to talk. I am at my worst, and somehow telling everyone all about that isn’t priority.

migraines

However, I am learning. I did not choose this, just like I didn’t choose other paths that I more easily processed with family and friends. Just because post herpetic neuralgia from shingles is not as easily measured as strep throat or something- that doesn’t make it less. It is an invisible pain, people aren’t going to know anything about what I’m walking through unless I tell them. And I have not wanted to tell people. I have wanted my interactions with others to be lighthearted and not about this draining thing. I have wanted to ignore it, but it will not be ignored.

I think others with ‘invisible’ pains will know what I am talking about here; it is extremely difficult to know how much to share before I’m oversharing. It’s like opening up a dam; I don’t want to open that up to everyone I speak to. Sometimes to even ask others how they are doing is near impossible with the throbbing in my shingles spot; I am so sad I can’t even hear their answer through the gnawing in my head. I’ve never been this debilitated before, and most people have absolutely no idea I even suffer.

I’ve watched primarily my husband (& my mom) see me change. Because at the end of each day, I can finally let go, and often times that means crying with an ice pack on my head. I cry so often in the evenings that I have stopped knowing how much is the pain and how much is my medication making me more emotional.

Both things make me cry; I can’t tell anymore. I am drained entirely, and I miss being me.

Side effects from medications are hard, but not as hard as the pain. I’ve never been so vulnerable to my loved ones, and they cannot fix the pain I am constantly in. My hopelessness in those moments turns to despair and depression. I have just now begun recognizing that I do have depression, especially during pain spikes. I don’t want to be the Christian who puts all their joy in circumstances; I have always known in my mind and heart that that isn’t the right thing to do. My body, however, has been failing me; I am not sure how to go through this painful season. I certainly don’t know how to coach others on how to help me through it. Humbling to my core.

support

I recently switched doctors, and my hope is renewed. There are certain friends (& of course family) who DO know my whole story and have walked me carefully and kindly through this whole ordeal. I’ve stopped asking God when it will be over, and now I’m asking Him what His purpose is.

And so, I wrote. I write today to validate the person struggling in silence. Maybe you can’t quite figure out how to let others into your story because it’s too sad, too awful to bother other people with. Let them in. Let someone in, not everybody in. Somebody or two somebodies or even three – they will support you in moments you think you can’t go on. Suffering in silence isn’t brave. It’s not the right thing to do or the kind thing, as I once thought, no matter the type of suffering. Don’t refuse anyone into your world, however hard it is. Claim whatever season you are walking through. “Hello, my name is ******, and I have had difficult, life-altering chronic pain for over a year now.” This is me, learning to accept my season. I didn’t want this season, and I didn’t ask for this season. However I better accept it. I’ve been refusing to for long enough, and that has gotten me nowhere.

So, my first step has been to claim it, to accept it. And to talk to my people about it-with a grateful heart for their loving kindness and patience. I know I can endure the pain, as I’ve been doing so. I just pray that this season of chronic pain does not go without the ability to touch someone else’s life. I want to give this to God to do what He will with it; I want it to produce something worthwhile if that makes sense. So with that, I give you my ‘rough draft’ of this year of pain. It’s not wrapped up with a pretty bow yet. The pain is still here and wreaking some manageable havoc, both physically and emotionally. However, just knowing I’m not alone in this and that I am loved fully through this has meant the world to me. And I won’t be seeking isolation from my loved ones anymore, no matter the temptation to protect them from this. Scripture is my refuge:

“He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭18:19‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:8-10

faith

I’m praying that my Rescuer will once again rescue me from this. However, I am okay whether God brings healing or if He doesn’t.

Feather Your Nest This Easter

 

The noblest art is that of making others happy.-

P.T. Barnum

 

As you have probably guessed from following our Happy Mind Happy Home blog, the noble profession of counseling can be both a passionate blessing & curse. Serving  others is a dream come true; but at times, can be taxing on the most sensitive “canary” of soul of mine.

When my mind and heart become burdened, I turn to my other passion, interior design. Feathering my nest restores my soul. I have decided to dedicate future blog posts of the art of feathering one’s nest!

Today, I am sharing my latest project  & announcing that I have embarked on a new venture with my friend Kathy; a booth at The Vineyards Antique & Home Decor Mall in Colleyville. Our booth will feature custom floral arrangement, seasonal items & home decor. My daughter Emerson is even joining the fun with her custom lettering & calligraphy business! Please stop by soon visit  The Noble Nest & Happy Easter…..from my nest to yours!

Layer Wreaths for added flare & volume.

Is it STILL Winter

Does it feel like Winter never ends?
My kids keep saying, “…It’s still Winter?….” as if they are reading my mind.

 Augh, YES it is still Winter.

Winter in my house means more video game time since it is too cold (and WET) to play outside. Winter in my house means Basketball Season, which to us is easy peasy compared to Baseball Season. Winter in my house means house projects. And house projects mean I lovingly enlist hubby to donate his muscle and power tools. Continue reading

In The Face of Tragedy, It Helps to Be Grateful.

 
Less than two weeks ago we experienced another school shooting. In the aftermath of yet another senseless tragedy I found myself feeling what probably most of you feel – scared. More than scared, damn near terrified. No doubt I am not alone in experiencing the tightening anxiety in my chest as I drop my child off at school, holding my breath until I pick him up at which point I can breathe a sigh of relief only until the next day of school rises with the sun.

We can’t escape the dangers of what society has become. We just can’t. Unless you’re willing to become chained to your own home, you will have to embark back into the world and face the risk of god knows what.  This can be scary, if you allow it to be. I know I can’t or won’t allow myself to avoid all potential threats in the pursuit of perceived safety. And I don’t want to walk around life with anxiety gripping me by the neck. I can’t prevent these disasters fully so I decided I need to approach my mindset in another way – with Gratitude.

I find it quite unfortunate that it takes incidents like this to awaken ourselves to the gifts we have been granted in our daily lives. The most basic gift of all – life. I know I am fully guilty of overlooking and dismissing the fact that merely being alive is something to be grateful for every day. As we have been shown all to often in our current culture, life can been taken away when you least expect it.

I wanted to do a little experiment with myself in light of this need to become aware and grateful by practicing mindful gratitude every day for one week. It was my intention to journal this experience each day but life got in the way and the journal did not make. I did however practice this grateful awareness enough to realize how much I struggle with it and how easily I fall back into patterns of grumbling.

On day one I did notice a rise in my mood as I approached the day thanking the universe for my children, their health, and their safety. This heightened attitude carried with me throughout most of the morning, but somewhere around naptime my gratitude seemed to wane as the bedtime protests commenced. I was able to borrow my own mommy advice and “turn my attitude around” by recognizing that though I am not always thrilled by the events of the day I am most certainly grateful that I have these little people in my life to drive me crazy.

Towards the end of the week my gratitude agenda became more and more distant as I got caught back up in the busyness and business of the day, I found myself easily forgetting (again) the fragility of life and focusing instead on the list of lack I so quickly compile. What this showed me is that it takes reminders, daily reminders to myself to not take any single day for granted. More importantly even, not to take anyone for granted. 

Perspective is important. It shouldn’t take tragedy to open our eyes to the gifts given by being alive. Not to say that there aren’t hard days, trying days, challenging days, but as I’ve heard it said before – there is no such thing as a bad day. Each day alive is a day to be grateful for. So, let’s all be grateful. Maybe if there were more of this attitude of gratitude amongst us all, we could turn this world around. We can certainly try.

The Mythical Work/Life Balance

When Lisa, Andrea and I decided that our next post topic would be about the biggest mom Everest of them all: Work/Life balance, I admit, I felt a pang of panic because in my own life, I’ve had as much success finding a work/life balance as I have finding an affordable bra that actually fits.

So last week, while out looking for one, I stumbled upon the perfect metaphor for this mythical “balance” experts speak of….and even more ironic….I found it in the party aisle.

Weird I know…but true. Anyone who has ever been to Target knows that it’s just a law of the mom universe that you never actually leave Target with what you came for…this day was no different. Target was (you guessed it) fresh out of bras in my size, but busting at the seams with décor for one of the most unique party themes I’ve ever seen: unicorns and donuts.

I mean, I love me a great party….especially one with a theme, but I have to admit that at first glance, I was a bit confused.

Unicorns I totally get…but donuts? So confused…yes….surprised no….. Of course little girls would love this! Who doesn’t love this???…it’s a unicorn!!! And better yet….a unicorn with a donut….Does it gets any better? Not unless the unicorn does laundry & the donut is soaked in cabernet. I digress…

Indeed, whether you are 5 or 45, unicorns & donuts are pretty damn awesome. This got me thinking about a not so awesome myth we sell to girls and women… the idea that we can create a perfect work/life balance.

So not to rain on anyone’s parade, but the “having it all” myth told to women is pretty much the grown up equivalent to a unicorn and donut birthday party theme. Anyone who has ever been a mom-working or not, realizes that this idealist mom goal feels about as “magical” as a donkey with a gluten free- bagel.

Truth be told, there is nothing magical about it at all.

It’s hard. It’s a constant battle & I’ve been on every battle front: stay at home mom…working mom….part time working mom; you name it, I’ve been there.

I feel guilty when in full on work mode and guilty in full on mom mode…and Lord…when I was “blessed” enough to get to try & do both…not only did I feel guilty, but some days, it was a struggle just to remember my name or the names of the tiny humans I am responsible for.

So as much as I would love to give advice about how to find the right work/life “balance”, the only real piece of advice I can give is to keep moving forward. Move forward and keep searching….for balance, for bras & for unicorns too. Why not? Because the bad news is that unicorns don’t exist but the good news is: donuts do.

Work Life Balance: Is There Really Such a Thing?

Work Life Balance. Is there really such a thing as this? Balance, by definition, means “an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright or steady”. Upright or steady. Hmmm. I suppose I am upright, I mean I’m not literally falling down. But, steady? Yeah, not so much. My life these days feels more like a balancing act. A juggling act. A mere attempt at keeping all the balls in the air and moving continually to keep them from crashing to the floor. Hardly balance.

I would more accurately describe my life as Work Life conflict. No matter where I am or what I’m doing I feel like I should be somewhere else doing something more. If I’m at work I certainly feel like I should be home with my kids. Helping my 5 year old with reading, playing with my 3 year old, soothing my fussy 6 month old, taking the load of all of this off my husband. I certainly believe in equal partnership between my husband and I, and I am grateful he is such an awesome dad to our kids, but for whatever reason it is so hard for me to shake the idea that I should be there, too. Inevitably when there is a 6:00 pm exhaustion meltdown I think to myself, maybe if I was there to help manage the chaos the night would have gone more smoothly. Except really I know these things happen whether I am there or not. But the mom guilt finds a way… it always finds a way.

And then there’s work. I love my job. Like really love it. Listening, helping, being with other people and their emotions – gives me all the feels. I think I’m doing pretty well most days with keeping my focus on work when I’m at work, but ask me for anything extra and you’ll probably get a big fat nothing. Not because I don’t want to, but because I just don’t have the extra to give. And this is what I’m struggling with right now. My life is filled to the brim, pressing at the seams, and barely contained by the lid holding it all in. In my mind I can easily imagine myself getting to the meeting on time or fitting in an extra call from home. But, think again. At least I’m having to try and do that – Think. Again.

I am (veeerrrrry) slooowwwly learning how to say no to things that I may actually want to do. I know how to say no to something I don’t want to do, but this saying no despite my desire to do it, that’s new. I’ve thought before, if something is important to you then you’ll find a way. Well now while this may be true, you have to consider the cost of doing it. Will getting to the meeting on time mean less sleep than the no sleep I’m already getting, yelling at my kids in the morning because I’m a ball of stress, still showing up late despite my efforts and making people wait? Is that the outcome I was looking for? No. Not at all.

I am having to evaluate and reevaluate my priorities. In truth, just because I want to do it doesn’t mean I can do it WELL. Not at this current point in time. And I do want to do well. In work, in home, in life. So for me – during this season of my life – I am looking to find balance by being more of who I want to be, which seems to mean doing a little less extra. This may be unnerving at times, but if it saves my sanity and gives my family and my work a more focused, calm, and happy me then, and only then, will I call that balance.