Small things done often in all our relationships make the biggest difference over time.
John Gottman was referring to couples when talking about doing small things often for your partner to make a difference in your relationship. Small things often can also be applied to your relationship with yourself, your children, your bestfriend.
Soul diving. This seems like the appropriate term for describing what I began to experience a couple weeks ago when writing my first few posts on fear, vulnerability, and approval addiction. In some ways I felt a little sick, nauseous even. Like I’d taken a big bite of scared, embarrassed, ashamed, afraid, exposed, and daring all at once. As I swallowed it down, realizing what I’d taken in, I felt heavy.
This motherhood quote is amusing because isn’t it obvious that even on a good day, 10 hands would never be enough to schlep around the arsenal of items needed to survive an average day in the jungles of motherhood.
Most days I have my hands full both LITERALLY and figuratively. I stumble around barely walking upright as I balance my dinging cell phone & a piece of used gum in one hand; and hisbackpack, my purse, and assorted snacks (a bag of squashed Goldfish anyone?) in the other! Continue reading →
5 things that are being pushed within me now that the blog is live
1.I Am more intentional
Now it seems like everything I do I contemplate why, what it brings me, how does it make me feel. Yes, my brain has been on overload since the concept of our blog was nailed down. I find myself wishing I could stop and write many times during the day because I am thinking so much more about my actions, my thoughts, my feelings.
I met a little girl recently- she was coming in for her first counseling session to find a way out of her fairly extreme anxiety and worry. Given this knowledge of her current state of mind, I anticipated she would feel a little nervous getting started. As I usually do upon meeting a child for the first time, I asked her, “how do you feel about being here today?” She shifted a bit in her seat, straightened her back to assist her in sitting as tall as possible, and then responded,
"I am trying to feel confident."
A bit taken aback by this statement, I responded, “Well, in here it is okay to feel however you really feel. Confident. Shy. Nervous. Scared. Happy. Sad. Whatever.”
“Oh.”, she replied as she relaxed her back into the chair, easing her shoulders into place. “Okay then.”
Well, today goes down in the books as one of those “not good days”. Coincidentally enough, I shared a quote on Facebook this morning that read, “To the mamas who are having hard days….a bad day doesn’t make you a bad mom”. I guess I subconsciously knew what kind of day it was going to be before it even got started. But really, I tend to feel like I have a lot of bad days. Bad mom days.
Sunday, the day of rest. Honestly I try to enforce this in my home but commitments out of my control, aka my son’s baseball have taken over our Sunday afternoons for a while now.
Today I am thankful for Easter Sunday as we are observing the day of rest and plan to spend it with family. It has been a busy few days around my house as we have been building a new fence, thanks to recent Texas Spring Storms, so we need to rest.
Practicing self care is something I talk a lot about with my client’s and I admit I am not a pro. Being a therapist on top of being a mom on top of being a wife makes self care something I can not not make time for. It must be a priority and something I plan and practice with purpose.